I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
