And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
