would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
