Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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