I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
