I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
