a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
