Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
