your thong is hanging out like whoa
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Randomize
