Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
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