Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
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