would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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