If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
