escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize