and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
