im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
