I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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