he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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