I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
