Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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