Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
