and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i wish my penis had a tongue
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
