Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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