We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize