The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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