Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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