just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize
