I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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