my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i was born a porn star she said
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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