It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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