she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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