i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize