Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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