This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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