this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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