Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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