I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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