remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
