i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
