no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Randomize
