He disabled his match.com account in front of me
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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