i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
