Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
