You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
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