dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Randomize
