To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize