oh god the rape fog is back!
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
