I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
You smell like a Billy Joel song
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
