I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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