I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
True but thats because hes a fetus.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
