i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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