We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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