I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
