Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize
