We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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