its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
