Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
this will be a night to untag.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
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