So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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