Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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