wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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