Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
