I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
