im six kinds of drunk right now
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
