Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
