do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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